Ever since school it was Bloodbag’s ambition to be Camden’s number one meat thief. As well as a very good meat thief he is friends with Rexley (possibly because he is scared of Rexley's brother.)
Calm, quiet, pretty Florence is the girl of Roy’s dreams. Unfortunately for Roy she has only ever experienced boredom, discomfort and (Rexley-based) terror in his company.
Joey Gagglio is a New York mob boss on the run from the law. He will tell anyone who will listen that he’s pulled his gun “more times than you’ve pulled over at the side of the road to dance like a fairy.” (Joey Gagglio’s real voice is dubbed over by Emmy Award winning actor Joe Pantoliano, for mafia reasons.)
Naked Reg is a male model and naked lady’s man. His list of clients includes Hewlett Packard, Scottish Widows and Colour Turtle Wax.
Peaches went to school with Rexley and Roy. He hosts a late-night television phone-in where he talks about his vast war experience for £1.50 a minute.
Rexanne is irresistible to the opposite sex (she is female.) She hates being called a ‘saucy nurse’, but admits to being a nurse who is saucy. (Rexanne’s real voice is dubbed over by Kathy Burke for saucy reasons.)
Rexford is a man with a fearsome reputation for random acts of brutishness. He is Rexley's half twin brother. A man of very few words.
Rexley describes himself as ‘new judo’. Rexley's new judo frequently involves dangerous electrical wiring, spitting and shoplifting.
Roly is a man of too many words. Roy is often reluctant to admit Roly is his cousin. Having never listened to hip-hop Roly thought he would give it a go, and has rapped non-stop for four years.
Roy is a traditional judoist who lives for proper judo. Unfortunately he lives with Rexley who lives to drive him mad. Roy sees it as his mission to civilise Rexley with proper judo.
Roy’s Dad is best described as not very nice. He dislikes judo because it isn’t watching horseracing in a pub while dribbling onto someone else’s wife. (Roy’s Dad’s real voice is dubbed over by the late, great Rik Mayall, for spiteful reasons.)